BREAKING THE YES-MAN IMAGE
Andrea Longoria, Senior Learning and Development Consultant
From a very young age, we are shaped and molded by our parents. In my household, my parents always taught me to respond with “Yes ma’am” or “Yes sir” if an adult asked for a task to be completed. Any response less than that meant I would be punished. I would venture to guess that this is where my “Yes” responses started.
Throughout the years, I would find myself increasingly saying “Yes” to everything that came way because I wanted to please everyone. “Yes, I can go to that party this weekend. Yes, I can babysit. Yes, I can take on that special project, and yes, I can develop that training you’re requesting.”
I have found that, often times, I am a “Yes-Man” at work. I think it comes from a place where there is this innate desire to please everyone I work with, and to continually show my leaders that I can do anything. However, on my personal career path, I have discovered something. This “Yes-Man” image I’ve created greatly impacts me and where I see myself in the future.
People-pleasers are the teachers’ pet of leaders and teammates. They come to the rescue for everything, no questions asked. Everyone trusts them and keeps them as a back-up option because they never say no. With that, comes the title of being the “YES MAN” in office. Teammates love them for their generosity and humility. On the contrary, their work-life-balance will become off-balance – juggling to manage personal and professional commitments every day. If you feel as though you exhibit some of these behaviors, don’t worry. There is a way to break free from “Yes-man”, while keeping some of the positive attributes. First, I would like to share with you some pros and cons:
PROS:
Readiness to help– Having a co-worker who is always ready to help is an amazing asset! You are in the business of making others happy, regardless of your own happiness. It is a great feeling knowing your coworkers and leaders will always think highly of you because of your willingness to always respond with, “yes”.
Reliable– Being a Yes-Man portrays you as a reliable person. Organizations will see you as a valuable resource and they will be more likely to leverage your assistance. You continue to show your full potential, and for the Yes-Man, that is a reward.
Opportunity to explore new ideas– Being a Yes-Man opens the door for you to experience new opportunities. You show up to the most important people in the organization. You will never get tired or bored of the work you do, because you will always have something to put your efforts towards.
CONS:
Lose time helping others– Since you have created the Yes-Man persona, you will experience the inability to make time for your own personal projects and responsibilities. Work fatigue and burnout ends up being an increasing experience. You are so focused on pleasing those around you that your own work begins to take a backseat.
Unrealistic expectations- Since everyone expects you to say “Yes”, when it comes time to say “no”, you will be in jeopardy of losing the respect and accolades you have worked so hard for from your leaders and teammates. This is an unrealistic expectation that is beyond your control and it fosters misunderstanding that may be hard to overcome.
Absence of work-life balance- You will struggle to balance your professional and personal life when you are a “yes” man. You will be expected to meet deadlines and deliverables, which means your work life balance, will be off. The demands of your responsibilities and “yes-man” attitude will supersede your need for personal time.
The way we break free from the “yes-man” culture is quite simple. We need to be able to change our mindset and put ourselves first. When presented with a request, think before you respond. Ask yourself, “If I take on this request, will it set back my current projects or responsibilities?” Do not be afraid to ask for time to think about the request. This is how we avoid the “yes” responses. Next, be honest; make sure you communicate what your current workload is and how it could be impacted by taking on additional work. Also, do not be sorry for putting your own priorities first. You have commitments to keep as well, so it is perfectly fine to respectfully push back when necessary. Lastly, always remember that you have a choice, and be respectful when communicating your bandwidth and ability to take on additional work.
Prevent building an image of ‘always-ready-to-help-everybody-anytime’. There are other ways to gain the respect of your contributions from your coworkers. Understand that being a “Yes-Man” does not mean saying “yes” to everything. It’s about pinpointing what is important in your personal and professional life, and how it will enhance your current skillset.
